If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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