party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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