talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
