The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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