I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
