I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize