I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
