Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He keeps bees of course he's weird
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
