Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
