cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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