Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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