dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
