I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
