The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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