is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
