After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
