I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
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I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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