I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize