I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
