Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The beer is more important than you right now.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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