He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
