Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
