If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
