Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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