so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
