We're facebook friends in real life
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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