Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
