I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
