Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
