I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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