white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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