This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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