I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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