I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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