Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize