I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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