the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
