I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
