so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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