i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
