Pappa wants mamma naked
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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