I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
