Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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