Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
