Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
