I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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