Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
