The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
