yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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