I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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