he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
smell my finger.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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