oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
