i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
