I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
