Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
