I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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