Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
