He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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