i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
