Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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