Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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