After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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