just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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